Relationship Problems: Why Nagging Happens – Part 2

February 20, 2012 by

There are some relationship problems that most couples will encounter at some point in their marriage, and nagging is certainly one of the most common. As a Portland marriage counselor, I work with many couples who have trouble communicating because of the resentment, frustration, and annoyance that nagging causes, and through relationship education, I help them to find new ways of working through these issues.

Relationship Problems: Who’s Doing the Nagging?

Both men and women are capable of nagging, although women are more likely to nag since they are conditioned to feel more responsible for home and family life. Some men also contribute to their wife’s nagging behavior if they aren’t clear with their answers to requests. They may not know the answer or avoid giving an answer that will be disappointing.

Additionally, personality is a major factor. If you are highly organized, anxious, or obsessive, you may have a hard time not reminding your partner constantly. Or if you are someone who is laid back or prefers to do things at the last minute, it may bring out nagging behavior in your partner.

Understanding what factors are contributing to the nagging behavior can help you to get past it together. You may find that your partner is actually trying to be helpful while you consider the behavior “nagging.” It isn’t that your partner doesn’t trust you, it’s that he or she is trying to stay organized and on top of too many chores. A partner that you viewed as lazy may actually be overworked and tired after a long day at the office.

Now that you’ve acknowledged that the behavior is causing issues and recognize the factors that are driving it, you can take steps to fix it. In my next blog, I’ll share some tips for to stop destructive nagging behavior. I also encourage you to seek marriage education from a Portland marriage counselor if you are dealing with these types of relationship problems.