Relationship Issues: How to Discuss Bad Financial News

February 7, 2012 by

All relationship issues related to finances can be difficult, particularly if they involve bad news. Whether you’ve lost your job or maxed out the credit card, you may be scared to confess to your partner and even be tempted to handle it on your own, but this is a form of financial infidelity that can create a serious rift in your marriage, particularly if it’s a pattern. Anytime you lie to or hide something from your partner, it can cause them to distrust you. Being honest is best, and if you are having trouble initiating the conversation, you may want to consider seeking Portland, Oregon marriage counseling.

Tips for Talking about Relationship Issues Related to Finances

Prepare in advance. Think through what you will say and the ways your spouse may react. By imagining these scenarios and how you will handle them, you will be better prepared to handle them if they occur.

Wait for the right time. While you’re in the middle of an argument about other relationship issues is not the right time to confess your financial sin. Instead, you want it to be at a time when both of you are level-headed and able to focus on the task at hand.

But don’t keep putting it off. It can be easy to find excuses for not sharing the news, so make sure you’re not just fabricating reasons, consciously or unconsciously. Remember, most often, the longer you wait, the worse the situation will get.

Apologize. If you are at fault for the bad financial news, make sure your partner understands that you accept responsibility for what happened.

Ask for help. If you’ve lost your job, you may need support while you go through this tough time. Or maybe you’re struggling to reign in your spending habits and need your partner to help you develop a better system. Let your partner know what you need in order to improve the situation.

Work on a plan together. Taking control of your financial future by creating a household budget and setting goals can help relieve tension and even prevent future relationship issues caused by finances.

Talk it out in Portland, Oregon marriage counseling. It’s not always easy to stay calm and collected when discussing finances. If you find that you both are unable to talk through your relationship issues in a civil manner, you may want to seek professional help.