Relationship Advice: First Date Tips for Middle-Aged Men and Women

February 24, 2016 by

Dating can be a scary experience no matter what age you are. But it can also be a fun and exciting adventure.

When you’re in your 20s, everyone is dating, attempting to find the best person to settle down with and begin a life together. Middle-aged dating, though, is a little different. More often than not, when middle-aged men and women are dating, they’re newly single after having been in a long-term relationship or marriage, and they don’t have a lot of recent dating experience to pull from.

They’re basically starting over.

And that’s okay! There’s nothing wrong with starting over and entering into the dating world again when you’re middle-aged. But your dating skills might be a little rusty. So here are five tips to help you turn that first date into a second date.

  1. Pick a place in a good location. No one wants to drive a long distance for a first date, especially if it’s just for a drink or cup of coffee. If you and your date live far away from each other, pick a place somewhere in the middle. Or, even better, tell your date you’ll venture out to their neighborhood. It shows that you’re willing to invest your time into seeing them. Next time, your date can travel to you.
  1. Talk about yourself, not your baggage. A first date is a chance to put your true and best self forward instead of talking about your ex or your past relationship fails. Not only is this tacky for a first date, but it also shows that maybe you’re not ready to move on and begin something new. Instead, talk about you! Talk about your hopes, interests, hobbies, career, what inspires and motivates you. Show your date who you are so they can do the same.
  1. Look for body language. Body language can be a great indicator of whether a person is interested in you. When someone leans towards you, makes eye contact, and smiles a lot, that’s a great sign. If your date touches your arm or grazes your hand, that’s even better. But don’t take this too far and assume you have permission to touch your date anywhere. It’s a first date. Take it slow.
  1. Be honest. Dating can be overwhelming when you’re trying to figure out the underlying meaning of everything your date says. Being honest, however, will get right to the point. Do you want to see your date again? If so, tell them that! And then make solid plans for a second date to show that you mean it. Also tell your date if you had a nice time but don’t feel a romantic connection. Don’t keep them wondering when you’ll call if you don’t plan to. You’ll avoid any further confrontation and your date will be relieved you didn’t lead them on.
  1. Be present. When you’re on a date, be on that date. Forget about work, emails, your cellphone, and anything else that might take you out of the moment. Have fun, enjoy the experience, and see where the date takes you.

If you’re just getting back into the dating world and need some relationship advice, contact a Portland relationship counselor today.