Portland Relationship Counselor on the Reasons Women Have Affairs

July 31, 2012 by

As a Portland relationship counselor, one of the toughest issues that I help couples navigate is an infidelity. Rebuilding trust is an important part of the process, but so is understanding why the affair occurred in the first place. The reasons vary widely, of course, but experts have found that men tend to be looking for sex or attention while women usually seek to fill an emotional void.

I believe that understanding the reasons that people are unfaithful can help you to prevent an affair in your own relationship, because it allows you to look out for those warning signs and address them before the marriage problems escalate.

Why Women Cheat – and How to Prevent Affairs, from a Portland Relationship Counselor

Of course, as a Portland relationship counselor, I can tell you that every affair is different – and so are the reasons behind it, whether it’s the male or female who was unfaithful. But studies have uncovered some common patterns that differ between genders.

One study by Helen Fisher, PhD, looked at how happy men or women were in their marriage while having an affair. 34% of women reported that they were happy or very happy compared to 56% of men. These women were more likely to be looking for an emotional connection, not just a sexual one, to supplement or even transition out of their marriage.

That doesn’t mean that a woman can’t have an affair for purely sexual reasons, but it does mean that it is more likely that she is seeking something more from this outside relationship. Sometimes it is a call for relationship help.

But of course, repairing the marriage issues you experience is much easier before the affair than after. Even if having an affair is just an idea or temptation at this point, you’re better off working through your issues now rather than letting them grow. You can work to rekindle that emotional connection with your partner by talking through your problems with a Portland relationship counselors.