Portland Relationship Counselor Says Make Time to Avoid Affairs, Part III

February 28, 2011 by

Avoiding affairs takes more than good intentions. Being a Portland relationship counselor taught me that you must make regular deposits into the relationship savings account. Couples need to face and remove the obstacles to spending time together before damage is done.

Today let’s look at the ways in which “Consumer Culture” creates challenges to finding time together. Shopping is not a date. It is an activity that can be shared however, consuming goods is a temporary high that will only distract you from the important things. Americans have too much stuff.  We carry more debt and work longer hours every year. The recession made people cut back, and in my role as a Portland relationship counselor I hear that couples are actually happy that they are not spending as much time (and money) consuming goods that will only lose their luster in a month or two.

Being in debt brings stress, robs us from financial security and causes arguments. Financial stress is the number one cause of divorce, not affairs as many think. In order to shape up financially we need to stop spending so much time looking for the perfect things to purchase.

Portland Relationship Counselor Says to Stay Out of Stores in Order to Avoid Divorce

Media grooms us to be a consumer culture, so you may need to turn off the television and play a game or go for a walk. You may need to stop your subscriptions to magazines that get your mind on the sheets on sale at Target, instead of being on what might occur between the sheets with you and your honey. Be honest with yourself and your partner about the role consuming plays in your marriage. Keep consumption log for two months and keep track of how much time you spend shopping, talking about things you want, browsing the internet for deals, etc. Then talk about the results. Was consumer time spent more valuable than it would have been to be with your spouse talking, doing an activity or having sex? If the answer is yes, that you would rather shop and consume than be with your partner, please call us so that we can help.

You can have a marriage that is more than a temporary high. Together you and your partner can create a relationship that is financially fit, fun and exciting and affair proof.

Visit our website if you need help finding a Portland relationship counselor, and don’t forget to check out our free resources.