Portland Marriage Counseling: Put Your Marriage Before Your Kids

September 26, 2012 by

Parent clients are often shocked when they come in to my Portland marriage counseling office for therapy and I suggest this, but I truly believe it. And according to a survey of YourTango, many other counseling professionals agree with me.

It’s not uncommon for couples to struggle with serious relationship issues and turmoil upon the arrival of a new child. Often, your own needs – and the needs of your marriage – are put on the back burner, but this isn’t healthy for you, your spouse, or your children.

Why Portland Marriage Counseling Says to Prioritize Your Marriage

As parents, it is our duty to see to the welfare of our children. No one disagrees with that, right? Well, that means more than just giving them food and shelter – it means teaching morals and values and how to interact in a healthy and loving environment.

If you and your spouse are suffering through relationship issues because you’re making each other second fiddle, how do you think this comes across to your kids? As much as they need love and attention, it’s important that they see you giving each other love and attention so that they have a good representation of what a healthy adult relationship looks like.

Portland Marriage Counseling: Taking Care of Your Marriage Helps Your Kids

This doesn’t mean that you should neglect your children, but it does mean that it’s okay – and, in fact, necessary – to plan date nights and even vacations that are just for you and your spouse. And if you make rules about time to be romantic or intimate, you need to do your best to stick to them. Plan around your kids’ big events, certainly, but don’t cancel on relationship plans unless you absolutely have to.

Your marriage will benefit by this added sense of importance, and your kids will benefit from happier, more loving parents and a healthier living environment. If you’re having trouble balancing your relationship with the duties of parenting, Portland marriage counseling can help.