Marriage Problems Caused By the Cost of a New Baby Can Be Alleviated

March 14, 2012 by

Marriage problems related to money are a common reason why couples come to see a Portland relationship counselor. Finances can be a huge stressor, whether you learn that you’re not being honest with each other about how much you have or both of you are simply worried about not having enough. Add the prospect of a new baby into this volatile mix, and tempers often flare.

With a child on the way, it goes without saying that your lives are going to change. In terms of money, this means both of you are likely going to need to make sacrifices and create an entirely new budget based around the baby’s needs. But if you’re not comfortable talking about money with your partner to begin with, the added stress of a new baby isn’t going to make things any easier. Still, it’s not going to get better if you put it off.

Avoid Marriage Problems by Talking About Expenses Ahead of Time

As a Portland relationship counselor, I’ve witnessed firsthand our very human tendency to ignore potential issues because it seems easier to just not deal with them. But when you’re talking about having money to take care of your child, waiting and refusing to plan will only add to your marriage problems and stress.

Planning for the expense of a baby is something that can be done before you even begin trying to get pregnant. You need to sit down with your significant other and have a serious conversation about what you want, then look at your finances to see where your money is going and what can be moved around or set aside to have a baby. This means looking up information related to the cost of not only on prenatal care and the birth, but also expenses related to the first year of a baby’s life and even thinking about things like a college fund.

Having a child is expensive, and if both of you aren’t willing to change your lives in whatever way is necessary to ensure the child can grow up happy and healthy, waiting might be best. But if you’re already expecting, you can still take steps to prevent future marriage problems. In fact, you have 9 months to come to a compromise and make a financial plan you both can agree on.

Remember, even though it feels stressful now, everything is going to be a lot more hectic once the little one arrives. If you and your partner have tried to talk to each other about expenses related to your new baby and can’t seem to find common ground, you might want to talk to a Portland relationship counselor about your marriage problems.