Portland, Oregon Marriage counselor comments on Limbaugh Wedding

June 9, 2010 by

One of my esteemed colleagues in the field, marriage counselor Dr. Bill Doherty, has some interesting thoughts on the lessons to be learned from last week’s public marriage news of the rich and famous. I will highlight some of Dr. Doherty’s points, but to read his full comments please follow the link to his blog: Bill’s Blog.

After the celebrity breakups last week of the Gores, the first Muslim congressman ever elected and the Dog Whisperer, the week ended with 59 year old Rush Limbaugh¹s fourth marriage, this one to a 33 year old woman whom he met during the divorce from his third wife.  When asked about their age difference, his fourth bride told the press, "I'm sometimes not able to relate to the average person my age."

Rush Limbaugh's multiple marriages are all too common.  It isn’t that I believe people shouldn’t try again or remarry, rather that people need to stop kidding themselves about the causes of their failure. As a marriage counselor I agree with Dr. Doherty when he says, “as a marriage therapist what I find depressing is people churning through multiple marriages without learning very much except that they married for the wrong reasons or married the wrong person (but now it’s different) or that the love went away.”

Portland, Oregon Marriage counselor hears much blame and little accountability

Mr Limbaugh uses the common explanation for marital failure.  For his first divorce:  "I was doing what I thought I had to do. There was romance in the idea of being married. It was just the wrong reasons."  For his second divorce, “The love had just vanished. We’re still friends.”   Real insight into a divorce involves understanding one’s own role.  None of us need to look further than our own mirror to see half of the reasons a marriage works or doesn’t.

Famous people are just like the rest of us, they tend to look outside themselves for the cause of their problems. That is the wrong place to look if you would like to avoid a divorce and instead have a great marriage. An Imago marriage counselor can offer you tools to help you to avoid the pitfalls of blaming the other and instead become aware of how you contribute to the nightmare or the dream relationship. For more help, please check out our relationship education programs and marriage counseling services in Portland, Oregon, at our website.