Is Your Love for Your iPhone a Problem?

October 10, 2011 by

Technology causes a whole new host of relationship issues for the modern marriage. We have more and more things competing for our attention, leaving less time to focus on our relationships. Don’t think your affinity for technology is an issue? Consider this recent finding about one significant distraction: people are in love with their iPhones – literally. A study that was expecting to find that we showed signs similar to addiction when using our iPhones instead found that our brains showed an activity in the insular cortex of the brain, which is associated with love and compassion. The subjects of the study responded to the sound of their phones in the same way that they responded to the presence of a significant other or family member.

We are having relationships with our technology, often at the expense of real human interactions. In fact, we often use our smartphones as a way to avoid conflict with those that are in our lives. As a Portland relationship counselor, I see this all the time with my clients. Instead of fostering intimacy with our mates, we trade 140 character messages with Twitter followers or answer emails with co-workers. We play games or check Facebook. We’re connecting with people, sure. But are we really getting any kind of intimacy or real feelings of love and compassion?

Work through Relationship Issues, Don’t Avoid Them

Consider how technology fits into your life, particularly your relationship. Do you find that you use your Smartphone or your computer as a way to “check out” when things get tough? Do you spend more time interacting with virtual friends than the real-life people a few feet away? Try setting rules for yourself, such as shutting down your cell phone on the weekend and after work, or setting specific hours for using your computer. Instead, find love and compassion in your life by communicating with your loved ones and working on your relationship issues. If you need help, come talk to a Portland relationship counselor.