Healing After an Infidelity, Seek Relationship Help

July 7, 2011 by

Infidelity is one of the hardest issues a marriage can face, but divorce isn’t inevitable. In fact, it may be hard to believe this now, but in my years working in Portland, Oregon marriage counseling, I have seen many couples emerge with a stronger and healthier relationship than before. Both partners need to be on board with rebuilding the relationship, and it will take time to heal. The first step is to seek relationship help.

Talk about the Infidelity

Understanding why the affair happened is important. The cheating partner may not know why they cheated, or if they do know, they may feel uncomfortable talking about it, thinking it will only cause more problems. But these are real issues that need to be worked out together. If you separate and don’t talk about the infidelity, the issue won’t be resolved and may crop up again.

You also need to be completely honest about what happened. Keeping details hidden can cause lingering doubts for the spouse who was cheated on. Learning the truth may hurt, but it’s necessary to get past the infidelity together.

There will be distrust after the affair is revealed. This is natural, and the spouse who cheated may have to be accountable for his or her whereabouts at all times for a while. You will have to practice compassion and patience. You can’t earn back the trust over-night. It may take months or even years. But once you get past it, you will be stronger for it.

If you live in Portland, Oregon, marriage counseling and relationship help to overcome infidelity is available at the Portland Relationship Center.