Portland Relationship Counseling: Babies Are a Lot of Work

July 9, 2012 by

It doesn’t take Portland relationship counseling to know that babies are a lot of work, but you might not know quite how much. According to experts, parents will be dealing with their newborns for roughly 19 hours a day in the first few months!

If that’s a bit of an eye-opener for you, the next thing to think seriously about is the strain that all of that baby time is going to put on your relationship. Two-thirds of couples report a severe decline in the satisfaction of their relationship, and some experience marriage issues that force them to seek outside help from Portland relationship counseling.

Portland Relationship Counseling: Minimize Blaming By Planning Responsibilities

One of the easiest traps to fall into with a new baby is to blame your partner when you feel like you are doing more work than they are. Some of this, unfortunately, can’t be helped. If you’re breastfeeding, most of the time it’s a lot simpler for mom to get up and do it than it is to pump milk ahead of time and have dad handle the feeding. However, there are still a number of responsibilities that you can divvy up ahead of time.

Try this simple exercise: First, come up with a list of responsibilities. This can include things like changing diapers, bathing, and feeding, as well as chores that you don’t want to forget like dishes, laundry, and shopping. For each responsibility, choose one of you to talk about your thoughts on how that responsibility will be handled and who will be dealing with it, then give the other partner a chance to talk about how they imagined handling the responsibility.

If you agree, move on to the next topic. If not, mark it down as something to discuss more in the future. You’ll probably be surprised by how much you agree on – and how much you don’t. Figuring out these differences now and learning why your partner thinks the way that he or she does can help to prevent things from becoming bigger marriage issues once that little bundle of screaming, pooping, sleep-depriving joy arrives in your lives.

Having a baby is an exhilarating time in your life, but also an incredibly stressful one. If you and your partner have difficulty agreeing on who should be responsible for what, don’t be afraid to seek out Portland relationship counseling.