A Portland Marriage Counselor Talks About How Parents Can Keep the Romance Alive

January 29, 2013 by

My Portland marriage counselor clients who are raising little ones—and not so little ones—tell me all the time about how hard it is to keep romance alive when you have to take care of kids. It makes sense. After all, diaper changes and soccer games and college applications don’t usually leave you in the mood for candlelit dinners and listening to each other recite poetry. And even if you are in the mood, most of the time you probably don’t have the energy.

It’s important to do what you can, though, because even the closest of couples need to be reminded that they matter to their significant other. Neglect your partner for too long and you can find yourself needing relationship help.

Ways for Parents to Stay Romantic from a Portland Marriage Counselor

There is no one way for couples to keep the romance alive. What’s romantic to you and your spouse might seem silly to other people, and vice versa, but all that matters is that it works for you. Here are just a few simple ways to inject a bit of romance into your busy lives while continuing to be good parents.

Flirt over email. You may not have time to compose epic poems to each other but that doesn’t mean you can’t write a few sweet nothings when you’re apart. When you’ve got downtime at work, try flirting with your spouse over email, IM, or even via texts. Everyone likes to get a flattering message now and then.

Keep touching. I’m not suggesting anything over the top with your kids around, but it’s important to continue to kiss and touch regularly, even if that just means a quick squeeze, a hug, or “accidentally” brushing up against each other.

Give them the day off. Doesn’t sound that romantic? Well, if you want instant relationship help, this is a fantastic tool. Nothing says “I love you” like watching the kids for the day and letting them go off and do what they want.

Run each other a bath. In some ways this is similar to the above suggestion, but I’ve had Portland marriage counselor clients tell me that adding a glass of wine and a few nice scents make baths instantly romantic. Can’t argue with that. Also don’t ignore the joys of showering together—you’ll get to enjoy each other and may even save time.

If you’re still having trouble keeping the romance going or want some more tips, don’t hesitate to contact a Portland marriage counselor today.