6 Tips for the Newly Engaged

May 27, 2015 by

Filled with joyful announcements, elegant parties, and fervent planning, the engagement process is one of the most thrilling and emotional times in a couple’s relationship.

But as exciting as an engagement may be, it can also be a very trying time in a couple’s relationship. During the engagement process, couples must ready themselves for the challenges, realities, and joys of marriage. Below, I’ve listed six important tips for recently engaged couples as they prepare to spend the rest of their lives together.

Don’t rush. Wedding planning is hectic enough as it is—don’t make the process even more stressful by trying to rush through it. Before even beginning to plan, you should take some time to savor the joy of being engaged. Spend some time discussing your dreams and hopes for your lives together with your fiancé before delving into wedding plans. After all, it’s what happens after the wedding that truly matters, not the wedding itself.

Keep Facebook posts to a minimum. Don’t reveal your engagement in posts on Facebook or other social media sites without first telling your family and friends in person. If your loved ones live far away, give them a call on the phone. Hold off on posting about your engagement until your family, relatives, and close friends are all in the know.

While it may be tempting to post pictures of your ring, updates about the wedding, and other details about the engagement, I recommend keeping social media posts to a minimum. Excessive social media posting throughout your engagement often leads to floods of questions, unwanted advice, and hurt feelings among those not invited to the wedding.

Introduce the families. If you’ve already met each other’s parents, the next step is to introduce them to each other. Ideally, the two families should meet in person, but a phone call should take place at the very least if this is not possible. Introducing the parents is an important part of setting up a good relationship between the families, and will make collaboration on wedding plans go more smoothly and be more enjoyable.

Keep dating. Just because you are engaged to your partner doesn’t mean the romance should disappear. You and your fiancé should make a conscious effort to set regular date nights between just the two of you. Go to a baseball game, see a concert, or go kayaking—whatever you do, no wedding planning allowed! Not only will continuing to date each other help keep the romance alive, it will set the stage for date nights throughout your marriage.

Support each other. Through wedding planning, you and your partner can learn important lessons on listening, cooperation, and reliance. Show your partner that you are on their team, and make it a priority to support them when either of you feels overwhelmed or uncertain.

Consult with a Portland marriage counselor. All newly engaged couples can benefit greatly from attending marriage counseling before their big day. Throughout the often stressful wedding planning process, your counselor can help you keep your relationship healthy and strong. Perhaps most importantly, your counselor can help you plan your lives together, from sharing career goals to discussing your hopes for future children.