What to Do If You Can’t Sleep with Your Partner

April 19, 2017 by

Cuddling with your partner before bed may be the highlight of your day. But what happens if your partner goes to sleep before you… and snores right in your ear? Or kicks you all night due to restlessness?

Even if you didn’t experience these issues when you were first dating, it’s common for sleep behaviors to change throughout the years. And it can be incredibly frustrating.

If your partner is snoring loud enough, you won’t be able to fall asleep, even with earplugs or soft music. A king size bed may not even be enough space for a restless spouse.

So what do you do?

Don’t let your spouse get in the way of your sleep.

When is it time to start addressing the problem? When your sleep is affected.

You may already be at this point. You can’t get your recommended 6-8 hours, because you’re constantly being woken up or can’t fall asleep in the first place.

Sleep is a key part of keeping ourselves healthy. Don’t let the awkwardness of addressing the subject keep you up all night.

Schedule an appointment with a doctor.

If your partner is snoring loudly, they might have sleep apnea – a disorder which means their breathing is stopping and starting. Sleep apnea is treatable.

Your doctor may recommend lifestyle changes or even a breathing assistance device. If a trip or two to the doctor can help you and your spouse sleep comfortably, why not give them a call?

Don’t take it personally.

If treatment isn’t leading to any solutions, you may just have to suck it up and start sleeping in another room when your spouse’s habits get really bad.

We know, this isn’t a fun decision. As the spouse who has to move rooms, making the decision to get up in the middle of the night can be uncomfortable and awkward, but know that getting a good night’s sleep in a separate room is a lot better than being cranky and tired because you stayed in the same bed as your snoring or restless partner.

If you’re the spouse who’s causing the problem, don’t take waking up alone in the morning personally. After all, you got a great night’s sleep!

It might be worth it to buy a new bed.

Switching rooms is fine – as long as you don’t end up on a couch that leaves your back hurting the next morning. If you have the room and money to do so, buy a separate bed. You can always use it for guests that visit throughout the year.

If you don’t, it might be time to come up with a schedule. Split your time between the couch and the bed if the problem is happening every night.

For more advice on handling this issue, and other unique relationship problems, contact a Portland marriage coach.