Relationship Help for Singles: Are Your Romantic Relationships Always Ruined by Conflict?

December 12, 2012 by

If you’re currently single or feel like your relationships are always ruined by conflict, my upcoming workshop offering relationship help for singles may be just what you’re looking for.

As a Portland relationship counselor, I work with all kinds of couples and even some individuals to help them with their issues related to romance and intimacy. For a variety of reasons, many of us have trouble sticking with long-term romantic relationships. Once we reach a certain level of intimacy, things start to unravel. Fights, secrets, and silences increase, and the closeness and communication decrease.

Oftentimes, we’ll say things like “we fought too much” or “they just weren’t right for me,” but after this happens over and over, it begs a question: is it your partners, or is it you?

Relationship Help for Singles: What Do You Contribute to Your Romantic Relationships?

 Each of us contributes to the success or failure of our relationships by the actions that we take and the way that we interact with our significant other.

Do you close yourself off? Many of us have no problem reaching a surface level of intimacy, but when true closeness begins to occur, we pull back and put up walls because we’re too scared of being exposed and getting hurt. This is natural, but if it always happens, you may need relationship help. For singles, this is especially valuable to know when starting a new relationship.

 Do you give up? All couples fight and go through rough patches. When you start to feel like you’re drifting apart from someone, do you talk to them about it and try to work through it, or do you simply allow the drifting to continue until both of you pull away? Couples who have been together for years actively work on their relationship.

 Do you blame? Sure, there are problems in your relationship – lots of problems – but they’re not your fault. If your partner would stop doing A and B and start doing Y and Z everything would be perfect. No relationship is one-sided. We have to understand and accept our role in order to make things better.

 Do you have unrealistic expectations? Way too many of us think that long-term relationships should be easy. That if things were working, “it shouldn’t be this hard.” Well, relationships are hard, and the longer we’re with someone, the more we have to be willing to work at it.

In Keeping the Love You Find, my upcoming weekend workshop, we’ll look at what you contribute to your relationships. Contact the Portland relationship counselor today to sign up.