Relationship Issues: Conflict Levels Don’t Change Much Over Time

September 19, 2011 by

One of the most common relationship issues that cause people to seek Portland marriage counseling is conflict, so I found it interesting when a recent study from Ohio State University reported that conflict levels don’t change much over the course of a marriage. They followed nearly 1,000 couples over 20 years, and the differences they recorded over that time were small.

So does that mean you should give up hope for your marriage? No! Most couples don’t seek help. What you should take away from this is that the conflict won’t just go away over time. If you want a change, you have to make a change. Working on your relationship issues can be a great first step.

The study also revealed many of the things that low-conflict marriages have in common. These couples were more likely to say that they shared decision-making as well as housework with their spouses. This goes to show the importance of communication and staying connected to one another.

The low-conflict couples were also more likely to say they believed in traditional, life-long marriage. This is crucial to the longevity of a marriage. When a problem comes up, both partners have to be willing to work through it. You can’t fix a problem if only one partner is committed to the relationship. Also, if you are committed to your partner for the long-term, you may be more likely to let small disagreements go, leading to more peace at home.

Get Help for Your Relationship Issues

If you’re dealing with conflict in your marriage, give my office a call to see how I can help you change those conflict levels by working through your relationship issues together.