Relationship Issues Can Be Prevented by Having Realistic Expectations

August 30, 2011 by

Many relationship issues are the result of unrealistic expectations. Maybe we’ve always imagined the Prince Charming from fairy tales. Or perhaps we’ve watched too many romantic comedies. For whatever reason, people often set their expectations too high, so there’s no way that their significant other can measure up to their idealized fantasy.

Here’s the deal: we’re all human. And being human means that we have faults. No one’s perfect, and what most of us are looking for is someone who will accept our imperfections and mistakes. In the beginning of a relationship – the honeymoon period – we tend to overlook our partner’s defects and focus entirely on their attributes. But in my work as a Portland marriage counselor, I’ve seen that, over time, these tiny issues become more apparent, and they can build up and become major relationship issues, resulting in anger, disappointment, and bitterness.

Resolve Relationship Issues Through Communication, Compromise, and Understanding

In order to have a successful relationship, both you and your partner need to learn to respect your differences and accept one another’s mistakes. The key to achieving this is communication. Be open and honest with your partner about your needs and expectations, try to understand his or her point of view on the matter, and, above all, be willing to compromise.

Remember, you are each unique individuals with separate needs and wants, so you have to respect that there will be differences in the way you see things and how you want to do everything from spending your free time to raising your children. These differences can make you stronger as a couple, but only if you learn to accept, respect, and maybe even admire them.

For some couples, achieving this type of open communication can be a challenge. In that case, you may want seek help from a qualified Portland marriage counselor to work through your relationship issues.