A Relationship Fresh Start for the New Year

February 19, 2014 by

At the beginning of every year we resolve to do things differently in our personal lives, so consider a yearly ritual of looking back on your relationship successes and looking ahead at your shared goals and dreams. This annual tradition makes your relationship proactive.

Step One:  Each of you makes a list of the Outgoing Yea

Examining what went well is a crucial first step.  No matter the ups and downs some good things happened. Share your lists. No disagreeing and no making any negative comments.  Your partner’s opinions of how things went are as valid as your own!

Step Two:  Each of you makes a list of your relationship goals for the Coming Year

What would you like to see take shape in your marriage in 2014? Keep it realistic, but also dream big.  Do you want to save money, live within your means, travel, work out together? Make your list and then sit down and share your lists following the above-mentioned rules.

Step Three: Agree upon a list of about 10 goal

Goals are usually activities and milestones you want to accomplish, “We have an organized basement and attic”, or instituting regular and enjoyable activities, “We have a weekly date”.  An average list couple’s create is something like the following:

  • We travel to New York City
  • We save 10% of our income
  • We go camping 4 times
  • We attend a relationship retreat
  • We reduce our debt by half
  • We work together to improve our parenting

Make sure you write your statements:

  • Present tense
  • Positive
  • Start each one with WE

Step Four:  Write and Decorate Your Relationship Vision

Get artistic, have fun, go for it. Make it fun, make it pretty but most of all, make it visible to you both so that you can work hard to keep your relationship “on purpose”.  Take time once a month to use those rules above and check-in on your progress.  No shame, blame or criticism, just honest evaluation. Then recalibrate and get back on track!