Refocus Your Relationship After the Kids Leave, Says a Portland, Oregon Marriage Coach

July 13, 2016 by

Think back to when you and your spouse first started dating. Would you say you went through different phases? Most people experience an initial spark and infatuation, getting to know each other and casually dating, becoming a serious item, and eventually taking the plunge into marriage.

Well, these different periods don’t end after saying, “I do.” They don’t end after you decide to become parents and grow your family, either.

One event bound to thrust you into a new phase is when your kids grow up and move out. Having a newly empty nest doesn’t just affect your living situation or your relationship with your children. After decades of raising children and being married, your relationship may all of a sudden feel different. Maybe even frightening.

Where once you and your spouse may have only had a few hours alone together on any given week – if that – now it’s just the two of you all the time. This can be intimidating. You don’t know what to do with each other.

These feelings and fears are perfectly normal, but they can and should be overcome. How? By refocusing your relationship.

For years, you’ve probably made co-parenting the highest priority in your relationship. You may have put your role as best friend, companion, and lover off to the side. Now is the time to bring those things back to the forefront.

Talk to your spouse about this new phase in your life. How are the two of you going to grow your relationship with your new schedules and freedoms? Should you seek out an exciting project or venture? Do you want to branch out socially or intellectually? Will you need some alone time?

Now is the time to go on more dates, plan more adventures, and get to know each other as people again instead of just “mom” and “dad.” By refocusing your relationship, you will discover new things and rediscover what made you so crazy about your spouse all those years ago.

For more coaching and ways to grow and refocus your relationship, contact a Portland, Oregon marriage coach today.