Portland Relationship Counselor Says Make Time to Avoid Affairs, Part IV

March 8, 2011 by

My years as a Portland relationship counselor have taught me that the best marriage enhancement is spending time quality together. Nothing else helps as much to avoid affairs or divorce. If you are like most couples you experience multiple challenges to finding that time. One major time drain is the interference of media.

Just 20 years ago couples had little competition for time from media sources. Now there are multiple ways that media and social media interrupt our quality time.

Portland Relationship Counselor Asks You to Turn off Technology to Turn on the Marriage

Your marriage needs to be your highest priority if you want to insure against affairs and divorce. As a very experienced Portland relationship counselor I want you to examine the ways that media competes for your couple time.

Telephones, texting and smart phones: Once people had the ability to gout to dinner without any interruptions from work, babysitters or other messages. And yes, their babysitters and children generally survived the evening. I admit that as a Portland relationship counselor, I sit in restaurants and watch couples interact. (Not when I’m with my husband!). I see couples on dates checking their phones, returning texts and answering emails. I see the hurt and disappointment in people’s faces when their companion leaves the real connection for the tech connection. Ouch. Turn off your phone. Tell the sitter where you are going and the phone. Tell the wait person your name and they can find you if there is an emergency.

Internet: The web offers many distractions. Facebook can be a significant threat to relationships. Divorce attorneys report a huge spike in couples blaming Facebook connections for affair and a divorce.  Answering emails can be a time thief. Don’t kid yourself and say that you are only going to check emails for 5 minutes. Playing online games can soak up many hours of your time. Living in a virtual world will eventually cause the ruin of your real world. Last but not least is easy access to pornography. If you spend time with unreal sexual exploits, your real sex life will likely suffer. This Portland relationship counselor has seen this issue destroy many marriages.

Television: TV and videos account for much time consumed in the American household. Now that news, sports and Law and Order is on 24/7, you may find yourself glued to the tube for hours. TV is fun, sometimes entertaining and maybe even necessary, but how much time do you spend in front of it. Would you be willing and able to limit your watching to 2 hours per day? If not, ask yourself, “why not?”

If you need help breaking these or other habits, or want to find a good Portland relationship counselor, please visit our website. And while you are there be sure to check out our ever growing collection of free resources.