Portland Relationship Counselor: Make Your Partner Feel Loved

January 14, 2015 by

What makes you feel loved? The connection you and your partner feel for each other is built on being kind, thoughtful, and responsive to one another’s needs. But these needs can also differ from person to person, and even if you know that you love your partner, you may not be regularly expressing it in a way that the other person sees.

Here are a few ideas that can help you ensure that your partner feels your love.

Establish rituals. Whether it’s that kiss before your partner heads out the door for work or sharing a meal at the end of the day, find times that you express your affection. Even an extremely busy schedule can accommodate 10 or 15 minutes of time for you to reconnect each and every day. Make it a priority.

Go beyond “I love you.” It’s great to regularly express your love for your partner, but it’s even more valuable if you back it up with a reason why. It doesn’t have to be a long, complicated explanation. For example, “you make me happy” or “I love spending time with you” are great ways to express the reasons behind your love.

Be considerate. In a long-term relationship, you learn your partner’s pet peeves and preferences. Take them into account when you can. He prefers that you squeeze the toothpaste from the bottom; why not do it? She hates your messy newspapers? Clean them up.

Practice affection even when you’re in a bad mood. After a bad day at work or a stressful day with the kids, the exhaustion and general grumpiness can make you pull away from your partner, even though your feelings have nothing to do with him or her. But don’t do it; act loving anyway. It can make both of you feel better to simply share a hug, hold hands, exchange a kiss, or sit next to each other.

Are you and your partner having trouble expressing your love for one another? Talking with a Portland relationship counselor can help you recognize your missed connections and find new ways to let each other know you care.