Portland Relationship Counselor: Balancing Your Relationship and Platonic Friendships

June 4, 2014 by

Have you ever felt like your relationship with your partner might be coming between you and your friends? Or vice versa? You certainly aren’t alone. Most people in long term relationships experience this feeling from time to time, but that doesn’t mean you can’t do anything about it. And you really should, because people who are able to maintain their friendships while in a romantic relationship tend to feel better about themselves and their partner.

How can you do it?

Make a schedule.  Looking at a calendar isn’t anyone’s idea of a good time, but whether your partner feels like you’re spending too much time with the girls or both of you wake up and realize you never see anyone but each other, scheduling can be a godsend. Sit down together and hash out how much “relationship” time you need and how much time you each need to be with your friends. You might find that you have very different opinions on this, so be prepared to compromise. Once you’ve reached a decision on frequency, set up “dates” with your friends and do your best to stick to them.

The more the merrier. Just because you’re hanging out with your significant other doesn’t mean that your friends can’t join in. Invite friends over for dinner or game night, or go out together and enjoy a night on the town. For those who feel like they just don’t have time to socialize, these kinds of get-togethers can be incredibly valuable.

Invite them to join you. This is a tip that works well for both friends and partners, depending on who you feel you’re shirking in the time department. Think about the typical things you do in a day or week – grabbing coffee, going to the gym, walking the dogs – and invite them to join you. This can be a simple way to fit in some needed quality time without unnecessarily burdening your already packed life.

Interested in learning about more ways that you can balance friend time with relationship time? Contact us today and talk to a Portland relationship counselor who’s helped hundreds of couples just like you.