Portland Marriage Counselor: Why Weekly Sex Should Be a Priority

December 16, 2015 by

It has long been believed that the more sex you have with your partner, the happier you are in the relationship. While this may very well be true for some couples, the connection between the frequency of sex and happiness is being called into question by new research from the University of Toronto-Mississauga. The findings argue that as long as you are maintaining an intimate connection with your partner, you don’t need to have sex every day to be happy.

The study, which was conducted over four decades, with survey results from more than 30,000 Americans in romantic relationships, is the first of its kind to say that couples don’t need to have sex more than once per week to be happy with each other.

Previous studies concluded that happiness increased with more frequent sex. But this increase stops once couples report having sex more than one time a week. These findings were consistent across the board, with no difference based on age, gender, or length of the relationship.

Another study looked at more than 2,400 married couples in the United States and collected survey results at three time points over a fourteen-year period. Overall, there wasn’t a strong link between the frequency of sex and someone’s satisfaction with their life, but couples did claim they were more satisfied with their relationship when the frequency of sex increased up to once per week. When couples had sex more than once a week, they said there were no noticeable benefits.

Weekly Sex Is the Sexual Tipping Point

What these studies seem to be telling us is that the physical intimacy created by sex has a kind of “tipping point.” If you are having sex less than once a week, you might not feel as close or connected to your partner as you want to – and making a literal or figurative every week “sex date” can help. But once you’re already having sex every week, increasing the frequency is unlikely to make you feel any happier together.

But while these studies conclude that having weekly sex produces the happiest couples, you don’t necessarily need to increase or decrease the amount of sex you’re having with your partner. Instead, you should use this information to have a discussion with them about whether both of your sexual needs are being met and you’re satisfied with your current sex life. It’s all about communication!

If you need help communicating with your partner about your sex life, contact a Portland marriage counselor today.