Portland Marriage Counselor: Talk Your Way to a Better Sex Life

December 2, 2015 by

It’s no secret that communication is key in a healthy relationship. But did you know that it may also be able to unlock the great sex life you’ve always wanted?

In a recent study conducted at MedUni Vienna on the success of oxytocin as a sexual enhancer, researchers were met with some surprising results from their test group.

For eight months, 30 women with some form of sexual dysfunction (inorgasmia, arousal problems, etc.) took part in a study conducted by the Department of Clinical Pharmacology at MedUni Vienna.  Researchers wanted to determine if oxytocin (known as the “bonding hormone”) had any tangible effects on enhanced sexuality.

Test subjects used an oxytocin nasal spray immediately before intercourse and, together with their partners, kept a diary and used a questionnaire to assess how sexual function changed for them during the treatment.  A control group followed the same regiment for the same period of time, but was given a placebo. While the sex lives and satisfaction of the women receiving the oxytocin treatment improved significantly, the group receiving the placebo also reported having significantly improved sexual scores.

Oxytocin or a Placebo, It Doesn’t Matter

What does this mean?

That the oxytocin didn’t matter. Couples found success simply by communicating about better sex.  Like a self-fulfilling prophecy, simply opening the lines of communication for the purpose of having a better, more fulfilling sex life paved the way for better sex.

According to Michaela Bayerle-Eder, doctor of internal and sexual medicine at MedUni Vienna and the project’s leader, the study was proof of just how important communication with one’s partner is to sexual satisfaction for both parties.  “Clearly the fact that the women thought more about their sexuality and spoke with their partners about sex during the course of the study in itself brought about measurable improvements.”

A new drug called flibanserin, which is now being marketed in the US under the name “Addyi”, showed similar results in its own clinical trials to that of the oxytocin study.

While those taking this supposed “Female Viagra” reported a more enjoyable sex life, the placebo group once again reported the same.  In addition to inconclusive findings, Addyi comes with unpleasant side effects like dizziness, fatigue and nausea, and is incredibly difficult to get your hands on (it can only be prescribed by a select group of doctors authorized to do so by the FDA).

Skip the Drugs and Start Talking to Your Partner

The bottom line is that communication seems to be just as effective at improving couples’ sex lives as any drugs that are currently out there. And, of course, talking has far fewer negative side effects.

If you are one of the up to 40% of women and more than 30% of men that suffer from some sort of sexual dysfunction, or if your sex life with your partner is just in a lull and you aren’t sure how to start the conversation with them, a Portland marriage counselor can help you open the lines of communication – and the door to a better sex life.