Portland Marriage Counselor Takes On “Living Together Before Marriage”

March 16, 2010 by

As a Portland marriage counselor I am asked from time to time should folks live together before getting married. Does cohabitation before marriage ruin your chances at success? Professionals and researchers have long debated the effects of living together before marriage. Now the debates are back in the news because the Center for Disease Control has released a new study.

If you or your child is living together before marriage, you may be interested in what the study found. An interesting review of the CDC study and others is on the Imago Relationship International (IRI) website. You may even wonder if getting married could ruin your relationship. Another interesting blog post at IRI claims that perhaps marriage is better for your relationship than you might believe.

Some marriage counselors caution women against living together without first being engaged and advise clients to, “get hitched or tell him to take a hike”. Women are most often given this advice because they face limits in their reproductive years and may waste precious time cohabitating with a man who doesn’t plan to make it legal. The new study shows that if you are living together after first becoming engaged that your chances for marriage success are as great as couples who did not cohabitate. However if you are living together without being engaged that is another story. There appears to be an “inertia affect” in which those couples who have a vague commitment are much more likely to break up than those who are engaged.

What This Portland Marriage Counselor

and Other Marriage Counselors Say About All Relationships

All romantic relationships enter a power struggle once a commitment is made, vague or not. (That is not a reason for you to remain uncommitted!) Perhaps engaged couples feel a stronger expectation to address the problems that arise during this phase. Pre-marriage counseling can help you to decide if it is time for you to be engaged and if you should marry. This type of counseling can also help you to have the tools and insights to create a lasting relationship.

Do you think you might need a Portland marriage counselor or couples counseling then talk with Norene with a complimentary telephone consultation.

Married or not get relationship advice you can put to use today from visiting our free resources section now.