Portland Marriage Counselor: Love Is All in the Eyes, Says New Study

August 20, 2014 by

“If you want to know if he loves you so, it's in his kiss.” You’ve probably heard that line in the famous Betty Everett song, but a new study from the University of Chicago suggests that the answer may actually be found in the eyes.

It may not come as a surprise to many women, but the study confirms that where your date looks at you matters. If eye patterns focus on your face, then the viewer is more likely to see you as a potential partner for romantic love, while a viewer who focuses on your body is more likely experiencing sexual desire, or lust.

The Study: Is It Love or Lust?

Participants in the study were shown images of young, adult heterosexual couples as well as attractive members of the opposite sex, and then they were asked whether the images elicited feelings of sexual desire or romantic love. Judgments were made quickly, sometimes as fast as half a second.

From there, they studied where participants looked at the images and revealed major differences in eye patterns depending on their response, and the effect was found in both male and females.

It’s interesting for couples to consider, since how you look at your partner may affect how he or she feels. How often do you look at your partner’s face? Body? Both types of viewing can send different messages, and at different times, both can be enjoyed. Or perhaps you feel your partner doesn’t look at you in a romantic or sexual way often enough, and it’s a topic of conversation worth bringing up.

If you have trouble talking to your partner about how you’re feeling, I encourage you to work with me as your Portland Marriage Counselor. I’d be glad to help you and your partner better communicate to make sure you really feel seen.