Portland Marriage Counseling: Prevent Infidelity Before It Starts

July 14, 2011 by

In my work in Portland marriage counseling, I work with many couples who are experiencing relationship problems of varying degrees, but one of the hardest issues to overcome is infidelity. Finding other people attractive is natural. The key, of course, is to not act on that attraction. However, when you aren’t regularly using relationship enhancing behaviors, you leave yourself and your partner vulnerable to acting on an attraction. When working with couples who are just starting to have issues, I give them some relationship enhancement advice so they can avoid infidelity in their future. Staying faithful does help you to stay together.

Portland Marriage Counseling Tips to Avoid an Affair

All relationships can be vulnerable to infidelity. In addition to making certain your relationship is the best it can be, there is also some basic advice to keep in mind.

Considering a night on the town with some single buddies? Think again. Alcohol lowers your inhibitions, and being around friends who are cruising for their next hook-up can actually encourage infidelity. Finding friends who support your relationship and believe in monogamy can help you avoid a big mistake. You could also take your spouse along with you, or just avoid going altogether.

If there is a specific person you are fighting an attraction to, avoid being alone with this individual. Don’t offer him or her a ride home. Don’t eat lunch alone with the person. If you are having trouble at home, it can be even more tempting to have an affair. The grass is always greener on the other side, but the beginning of a relationship is the “honeymoon” stage where everything seems great. If the relationship continued, you’d find that you have issues to work out with this person just like you do with your current partner. Try to focus on the person’s bad habits, such as biting nails or smoking, and remind yourself about all the things you love about your spouse. Maybe this attraction is just a wake-up call to work through the relationship problems you have at home and to engage in Portland marriage counseling.

Make Time for Your Partner

Perhaps the best way to avoid an infidelity is staying connected to your partner. Take time to go out on a date without the kids. Keep up with your partner’s work life and other interests. Be honest and open about your sex life. Consider going to Portland marriage counseling to learn more relationship skills and ways to keep communicating.