Marriage Counseling – Best Gift For Your Children

March 29, 2010 by

“Marriage counseling was the best thing we ever did”, exclaimed a past client of mine when I noticed he and his wife sitting at a table in our small town local restaurant.  I had just popped in for lunch and noticed them looking my way. I wanted to respect their privacy, but they were eager to talk. They were on a lunch date and were chatting about the best things they had done in their lives. Finding a marriage counselor was high on the list. Not only had it helped their relationship, it had helped their kids. This was great to hear.

“Instead of watching us have another fight, where I would walk out of the room and my wife would be in tears, the kids saw us stop when a conflict would start and use the dialog process to resolve the issue”, said the husband.  “The tension in the whole household lessened as they saw us getting along better.” He went on to say that they feel it may have something to do with their kids picking partners that work things out with them.

Why I Do Marriage Counseling instead of being a Trout Bum

“Wow”, I said. This had been a primary reason I had started working with couples, and this pair was confirming it. I had worked with them about 10 years ago and to have evidence of long-term effects on them and their kids was very affirming.

It has been my contention that the best gift parents can give their children is a marriage that works. Not a “perfect marriage”, which is a fantasy, but one where children see their parents resolve conflicts and have fun together.  Marriage counseling helps because it provides the tools and insights a couple needs in order to change their negative behaviors into positive role modeling. Finding a marriage counselor for your marriage could give your children a head start on having their own successful marriages.

So, if we give our children the model they will learn, choose it and it will become legacy. As I turned to order lunch, I thanked the couple for their profound comment and felt such contentment in my heart about the amazing work I get to do. Maybe if enough couples do marriage counseling when their kids are young it will put me and other Imago therapists out of business. That’s okay; I’ll just take up fishing full time!

If you are ready to dive in to marriage enrichment, I would suggest you attend one of our workshops and then consider entering marriage counseling for the best results.