Marriage Counseling In Portland, Oregon And Negativity

March 16, 2010 by

As someone who does marriage counseling in Portland, Oregon I know you have wondered if your relationship negatively affects your mood. Relationship counselors like me have long noticed that when there is negativity in the relationship one or both partners become depressed. A recent study at the University of Missouri reveals that marital hostility is a contributing factor in depression. Hostile behaviors can be defined those that are angry, critical or rejecting.

Although men and women react differently to their partner’s hostile treatment, both genders suffer. Good communication is necessary to counteract the downward mood. "In the study, husbands' marital hostility was significantly related to increases in wives' symptoms of depression," claim researchers. Men were most affected by their wife’s negative behaviors when there were other stresses present such as illness, job loss or a death in the family.

My Experience From Marriage Counseling In Portland, Oregon

If you are like most of us, you are guilty of some amount of hostility. Who doesn’t at one time or another say critical things, take your anger and frustrations out on your partner or reject loving advances? That’s where the need for communication tools comes in. Both marriage counseling and marriage education can teach you how to avoid treating your partner with negativity.

Findings show that your behaviors significantly influence your partner’s psychological well-being and that hostile behavior has a lasting effect on couples’ mental health. This impact can continue throughout your marriage. However, when couples began to treat one another with warmth and positivity the symptoms of depression improved.  My marriage counseling in Portland, Oregon sure jives with these findings.

Marriage researcher, John Gottman, tells us that most couple’s report feeling happy if they have approximately five times more positive than negative interactions. It would make sense to most if not all relationship counselors that your marital happiness or unhappiness would extend to your overall mood. If you feel that you may be contributing to your partner’s depression or them to yours, consider that learning more loving and positive ways to communicate could be just what you need. It may not take away all of your depressed mood but it would definitely lift it.

Want to see if you can be helped? A complimentary consultation to see if couples or marriage counseling in Portland, Oregon is for you it is available to you now.

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