Marriage Advice: The 6 Different Components of Marriage

April 20, 2016 by

How do you define the word “spouse”?

A marriage is not just a single promise or responsibility – there are many roles, components, and relationships that make up day-to-day married life. There’s work, chores, and possibly parenting. Does one of you cook while the other handles the dishes? Is one of you more “responsible” for initiating things romantically or physically?

Perhaps you try to share everything equally, but that doesn’t always work. Sometimes these things cause conflict. And conflicts stemming from one role may affect behavior in another role. Because of this, it is important to address the root of a conflict and what component of marriage it fits into. Do this and you can strengthen the bond of each component.

What are these components I keep talking about?

  1. Lovers. With everyone else you’ve got going on in your life, sometimes this role can be put on hold. Over time, the flame that ignited your passion may seem to flicker out. Don’t let this happen. Being a lover is an important component of marriage because it satisfies physical and emotional needs unique to romantic relationships.
  2. Friends. Friendship is a sturdy foundation for emotional health. Friends help to relieve each other of everyday stress with guidance, support, and kindness. At the core of your relationship, you and your spouse should strive to be best friends.
  3. Financial partners. Getting married comes with a whole new set of legal and financial responsibilities. The management of incomes, assets, and expenses can be tricky. While one person may take charge of certain responsibilities, it is important for each spouse to thoroughly understand what wealth is in the marriage and how it is spent, saved, or invested.
  4. Companions. From destination vacations to quiet evenings at home, you spend more time with your spouse than most people in your life. Traveling can be stressful, and a night in may be mundane at times, but when you enjoy the company of your spouse, you can make anything fun!
  5. Roommates. Home is the place to grow your family, rest outside of work, and express your personality. Being a roommate is a specific role centered on the upkeep of your home. There is a reason that moving in with your significant other is a big step in your relationship.
  6. Co-parents. Parenthood is a huge responsibility that comes with immense stress… but also remarkable joys. Working together as parents strengthens your bond as partners in marriage. Effective communication is key as you approach how you will raise your children.

Do you and your spouse currently face conflicts? Which component of marriage do they fit into? If you and your spouse are finding difficulty managing these 6 components of marriage, you may want to contact a Portland marriage counselor today.