Infidelity: “Virtual” Facebook Cheating Has Real World Consequences

July 4, 2011 by

Infidelity can destroy a marriage in one misguided moment. As a Portland relationship counselor, I’ve seen this far too many times. Why, then, do so many culprits seem to think “virtual” infidelities on Facebook or other social media sites will be seen differently? And why, when confronted with these problems in society, do so many people blame the technology – one pastor even went so far as to urge the married leaders in his church to quit Facebook or abandon their posts – instead of learning how it can be used safely and honestly?

A couple dealing with a “virtual” infidelity doesn’t need social media help – they need relationship help.

There’s Nothing “Virtual” About the Infidelity of Hiding Your Tracks on Facebook

As a Portland relationship counselor, I work with couples who need relationship help after experiencing an infidelity – “real” or “virtual.” The first thing we work on is getting them to let go of any blame they have towards technology for “causing” this infidelity. While it’s true that sites like Facebook make it very easy to reconnect with old flames and the like, the technology didn’t make anyone cheat.

After responsibility is acknowledged, we talk about any lies and hiding of information that occurred and work on bettering communication in the relationship. Often, old unresolved hurts, fears of intimacy, and shame leads partners to hide things from each other, but for a strong, lasting relationship, this needs to end. My work as a Portland relationship counselor allows me to guide couples along this path and give them the relationship help they need to prevent more secrets in their “virtual” lives and prevent future infidelity. Contact Portland Relationship Center at our website if we can help.