"Long distance relationships are tough” is quite the understatement. Whether you and your partner met while living thousands of miles apart, or one of you had to leave due to a job or other circumstances, it can be tricky to keep things going.
What many former long-distance couples don’t quite realize, though, is that sometimes removing that distance can be just as tough. When long distance couples work it out to live closer together, or even move in with each other, the excitement of being together may overshadow the reality of the situation. Use the following tips to ensure a smooth transition:
Don’t forget about your friends (or yourself).
It’s natural for couples to want to spend every second together after being away – after all, you have to make up for lost time! But going from 0 to 100 can be jolting, and can quickly put “you” time or your social life at the bottom of your list of priorities.
Make sure you take at least some time to go out with your friends and be alone for a bit. Doing this will allow you to unwind and regain your energy for your next encounter with your partner.
Did you (or your partner) make a big move for your relationship? Talk about it!
Moving close to, or with, a former long distance partner is a big step in your relationship. Depending on where you lived before this big move, it may also be a big step in your life.
Moving somewhere new can be stressful for anyone, regardless of their support system. Communicate with your partner about how both of you are adjusting to the move. Stress over a big move can often be misinterpreted as stress over the relationship. Be clear about how you are feeling about each part of this new chapter of your life.
There’s going to be a lot of pressure on you to make it work.
Moving a long distance to be with a partner is typically a sign that big things are coming – which means there is extra pressure on you or your partner not only to make the relationship work, but also to move forward. Recognize these pressures, but know that you do not have to respond immediately.
You and your partner should do what feels right for your relationship, not what your parents, friends, or other people in relationships tell you is right. What is the best way to know what is best for your relationship? Communicate with your partner.
For more information on how to make the transition out of a long-distance relationship and into this new chapter, contact a Portland relationship coach.