Finding a Marriage Counselor That’s Right for You

March 14, 2011 by

When finding a marriage counselor, you might think that all counselors are marriage-friendly. After all, it’s in the job title. But not all therapists put an emphasis on keeping the couple together. In my work as a Portland marriage counselor, I believe that your relationship has a better chance if you have someone who is actively working to save the marriage rather than remaining neutral. Of course, not all relationships are meant to be saved, but you’re putting in the effort because you want to stay together. Find someone who will work with you to achieve that goal.

Tips for Finding a Marriage Counselor who is “Pro-Marriage”

So how do you find out if a particular therapist is marriage-friendly? Ask! In our daily lives, there are many forces that work to keep you apart: the long hours at work, your responsibilities to your children, and the stress of managing a household. The last thing you want is to let your therapist be one of those forces. The key is finding a marriage counselor that will work with you.

Find Out About Their Philosophy

For example, in my work as a Portland marriage counselor, I focus on Imago therapy, a type of therapy that believes there is hope in every relationship. When finding a marriage counselor, you’ll notice that every therapist brings a different set of skills and knowledge to the session, based on their years of experience, educational background, and personality. Learn what techniques and strategies your therapist uses in their counseling. Make certain the therapist has been formally trained. Although 85% of therapists accept couples, less than 12% have ever had even one class in couples counseling. As a Portland relationship marriage counselor of 30 years I know how important it is to have a structured approach to couples counseling.

Trust Your Instincts When Finding a Marriage Counselor

If the therapist’s philosophy seems marriage-friendly and the techniques and strategies sound like a good match, attend a session and see how it goes. Was the emphasis on how you can come together and create a space for conversation, or simply trying to suss out whether you should stay together or not? You should both feel comfortable and on board with the therapist afterwards. If not, don’t be afraid to “break up” with that therapist and move on to another one. Remember, they should be there to work for you and your partner. That’s one of the most important things to look for when finding a marriage counselor. Visit our website for great marriage counselors and free resources.