Embrace Both Families, Says Portland Relationship Counselor

September 9, 2013 by

You don’t have to be a Portland relationship counselor to have heard stories like this before: A husband is shocked after marrying his wife that they are constantly over at her parents’ house for “family dinners.” Or a wife can’t believe that her husband expects them to spend every holiday with his family.

And actually, what’s more likely – at least in the beginning – is that these things won’t seem like problems to the person being asked to abandon their family, because they’ll want to please their significant other as much as possible. It’s only over time that this can cause resentment and other marriage issues.

How do you solve the problem? Make a point to embrace both families!

Portland Relationship Counselor: Equal Time Reduces Resentment

The scenario that I’ve seen play out the most is that wives will invite their husbands into their family culture while rejecting that of his family. At first, husbands are fairly accommodating, but they wouldn’t be human if they weren’t a little bit hurt by this, and that kind of thing only builds.

You can work to stop this problem before it starts, though, by making an active effort to embrace both families. If it helps, create a calendar and use it to find balance – one family one week and the next the following week, for example. Holidays can be trickier, especially if your two families don’t get along well enough to spend the time together, but schedules and calendars can help with this as well by letting you see where you can split time and keep things fair.

Don’t Hesitate to Talk to a Portland Relationship Counselor If You Need Help

Navigating in-law relationships is no easy task, and sometimes even a few minor slip-ups can cause marriage issues between couples. If you feel like you’ve tried everything and you just don’t know where else to turn, it may be time to seek out an experienced Portland relationship counselor’s advice.