But to most of my clients, relationship education means learning how to navigate the sometimes confusing waters of being married or having a significant other. These are people who want to approach their relationship in a conscious way to ensure its success. In cases like that, Imago training is especially useful.

Imago Tells Us Why We Connect, Says Portland Marriage Counselor

Relationship education tells us that the relationship problems we are experiencing are normal for most people and provides methods to move past those problems. An Imago trained Portland marriage counselor can take that a step further, detailing why we are attracted to certain types of people, and how that increases the likelihood of us experiencing the same kind of relationship problems over and over. By making you aware of this unconscious preference and describing how “love” works in the brain, Imago allows you to deal with it in the same way that relationship education has you deal with communication issues and other things that cause relationship problems.

A Portland Marriage Counselor Can Help You to Stay Connected

Relationship education with a Portland marriage counselor using the Imago model can clarify the evolution of your relationship in a way that makes sense of your current relationship problems. The troubles for most relationships begin when we move on from romantic love and infatuation to the “power struggle” phase of our relationship. It can be tough to fully give ourselves over to another person and trust them completely, and this is the stage where our natural instincts cause us to put up defenses and butt heads with our partners.

There is no way to simply avoid this phase of the relationship, but learning about it beforehand and recognizing it for what it is can be extremely helpful. Imago relationship education courses with a Portland marriage counselor also teach you to jointly create a vision of your relationship that you can go back to if either of you ever feel like you’re going off track, and provide each of you with a new way to talk and listen to one another that emphasizes understanding and acceptance.

If you’ve been experiencing relationship problems and would like to schedule relationship education using the Imago model, contact a Portland marriage counselor today.

Now, this isn’t to blame mom and dad for your relationship issues. Chances are, they were in the same boat you’re in, and they were just repeating a cycle because they didn’t know any better. As people, we get bogged down in what we want and often have a difficult time acknowledging the needs of others. But most of the time, this isn’t due to a lack of caring, but rather a lack of knowledge, which is why I highly recommend that everyone go through relationship education.

Portland Marriage Counselor: Relationship Education Will Help You Understand the Needs of Others

What I love about relationship education as a Portland marriage counselor is the deceptive simplicity of the idea. It teaches us things like the fact that it’s natural to have disagreements with our partner, and that it’s our responsibility to take a step back and approach tense situations as calmly and rationally as possible. That both people in a relationship need to agree to listen to each other and do their best to understand where their partner is coming from, asking questions and being willing to answer their partner’s queries without being combative. And simply letting people know that relationships, at times, will be hard, but that’s just part of the whole package.

The great thing about relationship education is that the principles you learn in it – ostensibly to interact with your spouse or significant other – apply to just about any relationship you’re going to have in life (friends, family members, coworkers, and random encounters on the street), and will make you better overall at simply dealing with other human beings. If you haven’t gone through relationship education yet, now is always the best time. Sign up for a Getting the Love You Want Workshop, or any of our other fine seminars, today!

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The Science News article says that one crucial reason relationship education works for expectant parents is that they are very open minded at this stage of life. Open mindedness leads to a willingness to learn something new about marriage, communication, tools for handling stress and what to expect in the years ahead. Any Portland marriage counselor who is experienced can tell you that an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

Portland Marriage Counselor Says Be Open Minded About Marriage Education

Many of us are not open-minded about marriage education. Why is that? Maybe pride tells us that we should know how to do it ourselves or we fear embarrassment in a group setting. There is a cultural myth that tells us that if our relationship is “The Right One” then we won’t need any help to ensure success. With a 51% divorce rate you would think we would begin to see that this is just a myth, not a reality. Most marriage education is in the form of a class, not group therapy. Usually participants are not asked or encouraged to share too much private material. Instead there is lecture, writing and exercises for the couples to practice independently.

Even if you are not a new parent, you can certainly benefit from being open-minded and seeking out marriage education from a Portland marriage counselor such as we have at Portland Relationship Center. Our well trained workshop presenters offer a marriage education class called Getting the Love You Want, every three months. Visit our website to see our upcoming dates. While you are there check out our Free Resources and sign up for our free email newsletter so that we can start helping you today!

• Stress
• Relationship Problems
• Alcohol
• Parenting (privacy problems)
• Too little sleep
• Medication
• Body image
• Obesity
• Low testosterone
• Depression
• Menopause
• Too little intimacy (talking, snuggling, hand holding)

What Portland, Oregon Marriage Counselor Believes You Can Do

If you are experiencing a low sex drive you should first see your doctor and determine if there may be hormonal or other physical problems. If you are not sleeping well be sure to let your doctor know that as well. It could be a problem with your lifestyle, but also it could be health related. If you take an anti-depressant you can consult your prescriber about the possible side effects.

If you are struggling with depression, relationship problems, self-esteem issues, stress or parenting problems you should talk to a Portland, Oregon marriage counselor such as me. If I am not the right fit for you, I will make an appropriate referral.

Some women don’t feel that they fit any of the categories above, but still have lost their sex drive. There are some simple and effective things you can try if this is the case for you.

• Think more often about sex. Men think about sex frequently and automatically. Women do not.  Maybe because we are encouraged not to, maybe it is biological. But when something is in your top-of-mind-awareness, it comes to mind easily. Think back during the day on some of the nicest sexual encounters you have had with your honey. Savor the memories.
• Exercise regularly. Libido increases as you increase regularity and duration of cardio-vascular exercise.
• Make out with your honey for ten minutes and see what comes of it. Relax and kiss, stroke each other’s arms and let nature take its course. You may feel sexier, you may continue on and make love and lease of the benefit will be in the increase in oxytocin in your bloodstream.  It is a feel good and bonding hormone.
• Make sure your partner knows what you need sexually. Too many women do not tell their partner’s how to make love to them. Your lover can’t read your mind. Share your “owner’s manual”!

A marriage counselor can help you with any of these issues that you relate to. Give us a call or visit our website for more free relationship advice.

Here are some benefits to seeing a marriage counselor while going through a divorce:

1.    Grief counseling—a marriage counselor can help you with your feelings of loss. This is especially important to help you move ahead in your life and get past the pain, minimizing the divorces effect on your future.

2.    Navigating through your divorce—Marriage counseling can help you learn about your impact on your unsuccessful marriage. You’ll “up the odds” that when you find love again you will be ready to create a successful relationship.

3.    Learning from your mistakes—Feelings can range from relief to rage, from hurt and despair to loneliness and depression. Seeing a marriage counselor can help you build a support network of friends and family as well as help you develop a self-care plan to get you through this time.

4.    Accepting being single—it’s not uncommon for divorcee’s to become desperate to find someone so they don’t have to face their loneliness. A marriage counselor can assist divorcee’s coming to terms with their “singledom” and actually help them learn about themselves and prepare for a future relationship.

5.    Attend a Keeping the Love you Find Workshop-Harville Hendrix created this weekend workshop for individuals who want to understand why they picked the partner they picked and how you contributed to the issues.

A Marriage Counselor will Help you Heal and Grow

Navigating the waters of a divorce is difficult and painful. Considering an experienced and qualified marriage counselor can be the best decision you will make to not only recover but to bring new insight and personal awareness to your life.

See our website to find a qualified marriage counselor in Portland, Oregon and Bend, Oregon. Read our blog post “Marriage Counseling Can Do More Harm in Four Ways” by Norene Gonsiewski, Oct. 17, 2009