Relationship Tips, Portland Marriage Counselor Says You Can’t Have A Weekend Marriage

September 6, 2012 by

Here’s a relationship tip from a Portland marriage counselor, you can’t have a “weekend marriage”. As much as you might wish that spending couple time only on your days off can bring happiness…it won’t.

People require connection. It is the way we are wired. Connection with a loved one gives you a feeling of relaxed joyfulness. The hormones generated when you feel close to your partner give you a strong bond and a feeling of well-being.

The less connection that you and your partner have during the workweek, the higher your distress level will rise. All people become distressed when they don’t have a strong enough feeling of closeness with their partner. Unconsciously you may wonder if something is wrong between you.  As your distress rises, your mood will worsen and your patience, affection and positivity diminish. By the time your weekend rolls around you may not feel chummy any longer. If you are like some couples you may even have an argument in an unconscious attempt to reconnect.

Making your relationship THE priority is one way to secure your bond. In my 30+ years as a Portland marriage counselor no one has ever said, “We are breaking up because we feel too close and connected”! But hundreds of couples have said that they are not any longer close and connected and wonder if they should part ways.

It can be a challenge to spend daily time together. Be honest about how your priorities are currently ranked. Is it really more important to watch your favorite show than to visit with your partner? Are your children always number one? Do you continue to check your email versus taking a walk together?

Portland Marriage Counselor Gives Relationship Tips

Here are a few relationship tips on how to add more couple time in a busy week:

  •  Exercise together, not independently. If you go to a gym, chose one with childcare. If not, get those kids to bed at an early hour and exercise at home. Do a yoga tape together, use a medicine ball or do floor exercises.
  •  Do a 15-minute, daily check in. No TV, no kids, no computers are allowed during this connecting point. Talk about the highs and lows of your day or something interesting that happened.
  • Get into bed together at least 5 nights per week. Unless you work opposite shifts, you can do this one. Perhaps you don’t want to do it, but you could. Doze off together, make love, have pillow talk together for a few minutes, or just snuggle. Talk about increasing connection! If you are resistant to this one, then it is important to talk to a Portland marriage counselor.

Hopefully I have convinced you that your relationship is worth the effort to make one another a priority every day. If you keep your bonds strong, your relationship will last you a lifetime. If you need help from a Portland marriage counselor visit our website for resources and counseling options.