Keeping the Love you find

KEEPING THE LOVE YOU FIND:
An Imago Workshop for Individual Issues

Are you tired of repeating the same old relationship patterns? Do you realize that no matter how many breakups you suffer, you still pick the same type of partner? Are you ready to unlock the cage you have built around your heart? Have you heard about Imago therapy and wished that you could learn its tools and insights? If you have answered yes to even one of these questions then this workshop is for you.

Imago Relationship Therapy is rich with insights, tools and healing. For those who are not in a committed relationship, and those in committed relationships who want to delve deeper into the “baggage” that they bring into the relationship, Imago provides this wonderful opportunity for growth. So whether you are married or single, you can:

• Heal childhood wounds

• Find closure with past relationships

• Discover “what goes wrong in romance” and “what I can learn from my past”

• Make behavioral changes and learn communication tools

Taught by Norene Gonsiewski, LCSW, certified Imago Workshop Presenter

Join us at The Keeping the Love you Find Weekend

• Date: March 10th 9:00-5:00, and March 11th 10:00-6:00

• Cost: Weekend Workshop-$350.00

• Location: Portland: 4511 SE Cesar Chavez Blvd. Portland, Oregon 97202

For More Information or To Register:
Portland

or Call Norene, at 503 234-4440.

Portland Relationship Center is the only certified presenter
of Keeping the Love you Find in Western Oregon

Title: Getting the Love You Want
Sign Up: Click here
Date: May 18th-20th
Description: Getting the Love You Want is a weekend specifically designed to help couples truly discover the joy of being together. You will learn how to:

• Successfully express your own desires.
• Get to the root of your problems and dissolve them.
• Create romance, fun and intimacy.

The workshop is kept small to allow for a safe and relaxed environment. Except for a brief introduction, you will not be required to share anything with the group unless you choose to.

The workshop is appropriate for you if:

• You are beginning a relationship you want to keep.
• You want to enrich and deepen an already good relationship.
• You are having difficulties in your relationship and want to resolve long-standing conflicts and learn to successfully repair your ruptures.
• You are undecided about continuing your relationship.

Tim and Norene are dynamic presenters who have both presented on numerous topics for the past 25 years. Together they provide many years of Imago expertise and are excited to provide this great workshop, created by Harville Hendrix.

The workshops are held Friday evening 6-9pm, Saturday from 8:30-6:30 and Sunday 8:30-6:30pm. The Portland workshop is to be held at the Phoenix Inn, in the Washington Square area. It is not necessary to stay at the hotels, but if you would like to book a room, please call (503) 624-9000. Lodging is not included in the cost of the workshop.

The cost of the workshop includes all course materials and snacks.

Contact: Norene at (503) 234-4440 or by email at portlandrelationship@hevanet.com
Cost: $700 per couple

Sign Up: Click here

This Workshop is for you if:

• You are ready to understand more about your OWN reactivity
• You are curious about how past relationships may get in the way of the current one
• You want to grow your self-love better receive love from your partner
• You loved Getting the Love You Want and are ready to continue the journey

Portland Relationship Center is offering an advanced Imago Couples Workshop, based on Keeping the Love You Find, a workshop for individuals. This workshop is in many ways deeper and more personal growth inspiring than I. It is designed for you to spend more time looking in the mirror at yourself and sharing what you find out through group exercises and couple’s dialogues.

If you want to grow your lost parts, heal your childhood wounds and dismantle the defensive cage around your heart, then this workshop is for you. You must attend as a couple. If one of you wishes to attend without your partner at sometime, please look on the website for our other dates for Keeping the Love you Find. The other dates are open workshops for Individuals to attend.

Don’t miss this great opportunity for a more complete relationship. Join us to examine more of your own baggage in a supportive, safe and enjoyable program. The workshop is small, with only 5 couples attending at a time. At this time there are 3 couple spaces remaining. Please note the details below and if you plan to attend don’t delay registration. You can register on our website www.portlandrelationshipcenter.com. Depending upon your insurance plan, we may be able to bill for the group and receive some reimbursement for you.

What: Advanced Workshop for Couples: Keeping the Love you Find

Dates: Saturday June 9th and Sunday June 10th

Times: Saturday 9:00-6:00 and Sunday 9:00-5:00

Cost per couple: $600, couple must both attend

Location: Portland Relationship Center  503-234-4440

Sign up now

Title: Getting the Love You Want; Bend, OR
Sign Up: Sign Up
Date: September 21-23 2012
Description: Getting the Love You Want is a weekend specifically designed to help couples truly discover the joy of being together. You will learn how to:

• Successfully express your own desires.
• Get to the root of your problems and dissolve them.
• Create romance, fun and intimacy.

The workshop is kept small to allow for a safe and relaxed environment. Except for a brief introduction, you will not be required to share anything with the group unless you choose to.

The workshop is appropriate for you if:

• You are beginning a relationship you want to keep.
• You want to enrich and deepen an already good relationship.
• You are having difficulties in your relationship and want to resolve long-standing conflicts and learn to successfully repair your ruptures.
• You are undecided about continuing your relationship.

Tim and Norene are dynamic presenters who have both presented on numerous topics for the past 25 years. Together they provide many years of Imago expertise and are excited to provide this great workshop, created by Harville Hendrix.

The workshops are held Friday evening 6-9pm, Saturday from 8:30-6:30 and Sunday 8:30-6:30pm. The Bend workshop is to be held at the Phoenix Inn, 300 NW Franklin Ave. It is not necessary to stay at the hotels, but if you would like to book a room, please call (541) 317-9292. Lodging is not included in the cost of the workshop.

The cost of the workshop includes all course materials and snacks.

Contact: Norene at (503) 234-4440 or by email at portlandrelationship@hevanet.com
Cost: $700 per couple

Sign Up: Sign Up

Join Norene Gonsiewski, LCSW and Tim Higdon, LPC in this fun and eye opening
1 day workshop. The Money Habitudes workshop is designed to help you to engage in productive conversations about money and understand the habits and attitudes that influence your actions and decisions regarding money. This workshop is the winner of several national awards for excellence in marriage education.

When: Saturday October 27th 9-5

Cost: $149 per couple, $79.99 individual

Location: Bend, TBD based on enrollment

This workshop is for you if:

• You argue about money

• You struggle with setting and sticking to your financial goals

• You are sometimes dishonest about your spending

• You spend more than you earn

• You and your partner think and feel differently about money

To Register: Sign up here
Or call our offices at 503 234-4440

Title: Getting the Love You Want
Sign Up: Click here
Date: November 9th-11th
Description: Getting the Love You Want is a weekend specifically designed to help couples truly discover the joy of being together. You will learn how to:

• Successfully express your own desires.
• Get to the root of your problems and dissolve them.
• Create romance, fun and intimacy.

The workshop is kept small to allow for a safe and relaxed environment. Except for a brief introduction, you will not be required to share anything with the group unless you choose to.

The workshop is appropriate for you if:

• You are beginning a relationship you want to keep.
• You want to enrich and deepen an already good relationship.
• You are having difficulties in your relationship and want to resolve long-standing conflicts and learn to successfully repair your ruptures.
• You are undecided about continuing your relationship.

Tim and Norene are dynamic presenters who have both presented on numerous topics for the past 25 years. Together they provide many years of Imago expertise and are excited to provide this great workshop, created by Harville Hendrix.

The workshops are held Friday evening 6-9pm, Saturday from 8:30-6:30 and Sunday 8:30-6:30pm. The Portland workshop is to be held at the Phoenix Inn, in the Washington Square area. It is not necessary to stay at the hotels, but if you would like to book a room, please call (503) 624-9000. Lodging is not included in the cost of the workshop.

The cost of the workshop includes all course materials and snacks.

Contact: Norene at (503) 234-4440 or by email at portlandrelationship@hevanet.com
Cost: $700 per couple

Sign Up: Click here

One of the top reasons that couples seek relationship help is money. In fact, it’s common to have one partner that’s frugal and one that would rather enjoy the money they have, which will naturally lead to problems.

In a 2010 survey, one third of all married people surveyed reported lying about money to their spouses. One third! It shouldn’t surprise anyone that this kind of behavior can lead to arguments, a lack of trust, and even divorce. If you don’t know how to be honest with your spouse about money or believe that your significant other is hiding money matters, you need to seek relationship help. But there’s an even better way to deal with these issues…

Relationship Help: Discuss Your Financial Heritage

As a Portland marriage counselor, I know firsthand how difficult it can be to open up about your financial past. It’s an incredibly personal, intimate thing, especially if you’ve suffered any financial setbacks like declaring bankruptcy. But if you are going to marry someone, these are things that they need to know, and if you aren’t honest with your partner about them now, they’re going to find out eventually when, say, you apply for a mortgage on a home.

Beyond even these larger potential skeletons, the two of you need to know how your parents brought you up financially and what your beliefs about money are. If one of you is a spendthrift while the other hoards every penny, it’s better to find that out as early as possible so that a compromise can be found. How will you handle saving for retirement? For your kids’ education? Even for things like that 50” flat screen you both want?

As with anything else in a relationship, how you handle money as a couple is going to have to be something you come to a mutual agreement on, and sacrifices will need to be made on both sides. Or, even if you plan to keep your finances completely separate, as some couples do, that needs to be decided upon as well rather than something a husband stumbles upon in his wife’s records come tax time.

You don’t have to go through this field of potential landmines alone. Talk to a qualified Portland marriage counselor for relationship help. Or better yet, attend our Money Habitudes Workshop™ on January 28th!

Relationship problems are often the least of your worries when you’re a newlywed. Most couples are still riding high on all those wonderful “love” hormones. The world seems perfect, and you know you found your soul mate. So why do some of these happy couples end up divorcing years down the road? What happened to that connection you thought would last forever?

A recent study published in the Journal of Family Psychology looked at 136 couples who reported “stably high levels of relationship satisfaction in the first 4 years of marriage.” Ten years later, they looked at which couples stayed together and which couples divorced. The ones that separated displayed more negative communication, emotion, and social support as newlyweds compared with couples who did not divorce.

This may not be that surprising, but what is interesting is that they found no significant difference in relationship satisfaction or in positive behaviors. In fact, the researchers believe that these strengths may have actually masked their liabilities. Couples who struggle early on in their marriage may in some ways be at an advantage since their troubles are easier to see and thus easier to address.

Prevent Relationship Problems by Learning Communication Skills Early

Does that mean you should be worried if your first few years of marriage were blissful? Certainly not! Whether or not you have trouble in the future, you have strengths that you can build on. But it does mean that learning positive communication and interpersonal skills with a Portland marriage counselor can help protect you from divorce even if you don’t have relationship problems today.

Seeking relationship help may still be an option even if you have already started divorce proceedings. In a recent study by William J. Doherty, divorcing parents were asked if they were interested in services to help them reconcile. At least 10% of the couples were both interested, and at least 30% of the couples had one spouse interested. That may not seem like a huge number, but what it shows is that, even while deep in the divorce process, some people aren’t sure it’s the right choice for them. There is hope for reconciliation.

Many Couples May Be Better Off Seeking Relationship Help Instead of Divorce

To many couples going through a rough time, divorce can seem like a very attractive option. After all, the one sure way to end the fighting is to end the relationship. You can’t argue with someone who isn’t there. But people fail to realize the other things they lose in the divorce, and many regret it years later or even as soon as the ink dries.

When most people enter into a new relationship after a divorce, things are great at first. Maybe it even seems like things are going better than it did with their first spouse, but the truth is over time, this honeymoon phase will end and you will be back to coping with conflict and negotiating compromises just like you were in your first marriage. In fact, many people find that the conflicts they face are essentially the same. They may start to notice that their partner shares many of the same negative traits as their last one. Suddenly, their old partner doesn’t seem so bad. Maybe he or she even has a few positive traits that this new partner doesn’t.

Why does this happen? It’s because you are attracted to people who have similar traits, usually the same negative ones, whether or not you consciously realize it. So now with your new partner, you will eventually be stuck navigating those same issues when you could have already worked them through by now with your ex-spouse!

Not all marriages can be saved, but from my many years of experience as a Portland marriage counselor, I firmly believe that most of them can be if both partners are willing to put in the effort. I’ve found that couples who work through their issues are often happier than when they first got together. So if you are considering divorce, I strongly encourage you to consider seeking relationship help first.

The relationship advice I offered in a previous article was to appreciate the positive sides of nagging. It can help you to be healthier, more productive, and more organized. But despite its many benefits, excessive nagging can also be a major source of conflict in a relationship.  After all, no one likes being criticized.

So does that mean you should just sit back and accept the fact that your spouse will just never help with the dishes or start exercising? No way! There are many ways that you can communicate to your partner without resorting to complaining.

Ask nicely. Recognize that your partner can’t read your mind, and a room that seems messy to you may seem perfectly acceptable to your spouse. Instead of starting out with an attack, check your anger. This will just put your spouse into a defensive mode and make it hard for him or her to hear what you have to say. At Portland Relationship Center we can teach you a process to ask for what you need without blaming, shaming or criticizing.

Consider hiring a maid service. If you’re both working professionals and you’re having trouble dividing up the household chores, part of the problem might be that neither of you really have time. Asking for professional help may also make your partner realize that the housework is too much for just one person to handle.

Say thank you. Every time your spouse forgets to do a task you’ve nagged him or her about, you make it a point to let him know how you feel about it, but what about the times that your partner does things right? Most people are more motivated by positive feedback than negative feedback, so lavish on the praise!

Consider your partner’s point-of-view. If you bombard your spouse the moment she walks in the door from work, she may find the request overwhelming. Or maybe you’re bringing it up during an important football game or too early in the morning. Think about what’s the best time to bring it up – for your partner, not just for you!

Get relationship advice from a Portland marriage counselor. If you’re still having trouble talking about what’s bugging you, consider seeking professional help. You can both learn to communicate better about all the issues you face together. Call our offices today for the relationship advice you need.